Examine why you see your act as a failure; you must have had a goal in mind that you didn't reach, and this to you was bad. Why is this a bad thing? Try looking at it from a new point of view, seeing it neither as a bad or good, but simply as an event which happened.

Find a partner who's willing to work on it with you, explaining that you want to do this, but you couldn't manage it in the past. Then you can go on to break the cycle, by learning that you can enjoy yourself. This requires trust and help from your partner, as you both learn together. First, you'll want to discover you can enjoy contact with their rear end. When you're having sex, try inserting your finger on or into their anus, and theirs into yours, especially at climax. Then you'll discover you can give and get extra pleasure this way. After you're used to this, try the special position I mentioned before: you lie on your back, and your partner straddles you at the waist, and one of you inserts your penis into your partner (whoever has the penis!). You don't have to move a thing; just relax and feel it. Often the person was so worried about what to do after insertion that they could never get that far.