Also, if you're sexually excited, these feelings and any tightness will lessen considerably. The best rule is to take it in steps, going easy and smooth. It may seem difficult for a while, but you may be surprised by a rapid change from discomfort to sweet pleasure.

There is a special position for you if you want to take entire control of the act. This way you can go fast or slow as you like. It involves your partner lying on their back. Then you squat down over their hips, facing them, and guide their penis to your ass. Then you simply sit down on it, gently and as far as you want to go. You make any motions with your hips, or you can just feel what it's like.

There are two other ways you can take more control, which are useful not only if you're new at it, but also if the male has an extra large penis. You can use your hand as a stopper, wrapping it around his penis where you like so only so much is let in (or he can use his own hand). Also you can use a position allowing only limited entry - a good one is where you lie flat on your stomach, with him lying on top; by pushing down with your pelvis or tightening your buttocks you can limit penetration even more.