Actually, I imagine that a bath or a shower before sex is a reasonably good idea anyway, because we're dealing with equipment that can be quite undesirable if it's on the nose when it's on the nose, if you take my meaning. Besides, bathing together is fun, if that's an option.

So, presuming that your woman is content with the preliminaries and you're going hunting, you're going to have to begin by relaxing. If you're so messed up that slamming your dick in the door has a pleasurable side to it (sorry feminists, I'm not certain what the female equivalent to that state is) then forget all this until you've had a bloody good rogering or two.

Once you've achieved a state of patient interest, slowly start to stimulate the clitoris. You've got to be really careful here, because clitori are damned sensitive little beggars, and too much of a good thing is not really a good thing at all. Also, different clitori like different things. Some like very direct stimulation, some prefer one side or the other, others are so sensitive that they like you to mainly stick to the clitoral hood or the labia. Some like a circular motion, and others like to be lightly flicked back and forth. The best way to find out what your clitoris likes is to ask it's owner, and if she doesn't know then do some experimentation. That's fun too, so don't get pissed off if it takes a little while to figure out what's good for you.